On Going Over To Her House…

So you’ve been invited to watch a movie at her place. Seducing her is now your number one priority. I want you to look up and learn what a cannoli is because that’s what you’re bringing over. Make sure the shell is not soft and soggy and get them from a restaurant if you can. Tell her you fell in love with them when you went to Sicily. Also, bring mini chocolate lava cakes for backup and a bottle of champagne. Movie selection: emotional theme, emotional music. Comedy’s for clowns.

I never let the woman make the movie selection in the beginning. There is of course always that exception. She invited me over her house to watch a movie called “Sex and the City”. I was immediately intrigued by her forwardness to watch a pornographic film so I accepted. It seemed I wasn’t even going to need the cannoli. Nevertheless I picked them up from a chef friend of mine and along with a bottle of a ’95 Salon I was at her place the very next night. Twenty minutes into the movie my excitement turned into horror as I realized the movie had nothing to do with sex. I was about to walk out when her husband walked in. This chick was into danger and getting beaten up by this beast of a husband who must’ve been some sort of sports player. She smiled as he gave her a threatening look for ‘later’ and came rushing towards me. I could barely get the words “not the suit” out before I was on the ground. It was too late. His soiled hands already left marks on my Lagerfeld 3-piece and I had no choice but to break the Salon over his head. It was when I got up that I noticed he was wearing Wrangler jeans. I looked at her in disgust and made my way out as she was screaming that I killed him. She might have been right. I’m not exactly sure as I left the country the next day but the one thing I am sure of is never to let the woman pick a movie again…

Lesson

Do: bring an emotional and powerful movie that deals with love. Go for something unique. Educate yourself in foreign films.

Don’t: wear a t-shirt and bring popcorn. Flowers are an overkill.

Secret Weapon: desert.

Seduction Factor: emotional experience mixed with chocolate and alcohol. The woman is rendered powerless.

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One Response to On Going Over To Her House…

  1. sunnydelyte21 says:

    Tell me this really didn’t happen? That is terrible….smdh

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