On Confidence…

If you’ve looked into female pick-up tips and techniques on the web or in bookstores you know that one of the most important factors talked about is confidence. If you’ve paid hundreds or thousands of dollars so a sweaty troll in an untucked dress shirt can pace back and forth on stage while telling you about the importance of confidence and ‘cocky’ comedy, then congratulations: you’re officially an idiot. Try picking up the wife of a young NY state senator in an untucked dress shirt and see how that works out for you. You might just be successful if she’s in the mood for sloppy, awkward sex with a guy that shops at Banana Republic.

As we were saying, confidence is very important. But throw away anything that tells you to change that by changing the way you think. You can only think confidently on a superficial level. You can never become confident by thinking confidently. Thinking is for losers. I don’t think or waste my time with such neanderthal neurological activities. Do you want to know why I’m confident? I’m confident because I speak 5 languages, read Goethe and Dostoevsky, eat sea urchin caviar for breakfast and have tailor made clothes. And don’t talk to me about not having money. Download Rosetta Stone Italian 1,2 and 3 and go to a used book store and spend $10 dollars on the classics of romantic and dark psychological literature. Go to Italy for two weeks rather than buy a loud muffler for your Honda or the newest Mac computer. Instead of having a closet full of clothes have a few really expensive items. Do this for a couple of years and the next time you go to a bar, sit back, order a martini in Italian then excuse yourself and order it in English, and look out into the crowd as you cross your legs in style showing off your dark brown suede Valentino shoes. You will then see the pick up artists you’ve been spending your money on to learn from, walking aimlessly in the crowd with a loud purple or pink dress shirt on untucked over their $95.99 jeans they recently purchased at the mall. You will smile even wider when the most sophisticated woman in the crowd sits next to you and asks you what you’re drinking. It turns out she is an extremely successful business woman, philanthropist and former member of parliament. You spend the night on her private jet while the guy in the pink shirt finally realizes that a drunk Sarah Jessica Parker look-alike is not that much of a catch. You win.

Lesson

Do: wear at least one unique or expensive item of clothing. Make sure you match.

Don’t: waste your money on mediocrity

Secret Weapon: You’ve been to Italy.

Seduction Factor: You’ve seen and done things she dreams about.

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One Response to On Confidence…

  1. Dennis84 says:

    OMG! I think you’re not only funny but brilliant! But get ready. The haters will be coming!

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