On Deception…

So let’s just say life has not been exactly fair in the looks department with you. “But Mr. Wolf, I don’t even have a big penis” you tell me. It’s at this point that I take my Roberto Cavalli leather gloves and slap you hard across the face with them. “These, my friend, are worth $350 dollars!” But enough about my gloves and more about your childish insecurities. I once made a famous B-actress orgasm just by looking at her. I bit her neck till i drew blood then stood back and growled in a low and scary tone while breathing like an animal who’s been caged for too long. She whimpered and came while not sure herself if she was scared out of her mind or extremely turned on. The real reason for all this was that my penis was injured. I had suffered lesions on my testicles from hungry piranhas while crossing the Amazon at night due to an unexpected visit by the local chief into my sleeping hut. In all fairness it was his hut and also his wife that I was sleeping with but nonetheless my departure was sudden and poorly prepared. So don’t talk to me about penis size!

If it’s a one night stand and you’re worried about your size, get creative. Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac. If you’re looking for something long-term make her feel bad that she’s superficial. The list is endless. Does it have a weird shape? Well were you born with it or is it like that because it was kept in a punishment device for three months when you were taken prisoner in Kenya for trying to save the elephants from being hunted for their tusks? Do you see where I’m going with this? When you are about to cum too quickly do you pull out and say ‘sorry I’m too turned on’ or ‘sorry, maybe we shouldn’t do this because I feel myself falling really badly for you’ while she smiles, gets more turned on and you take the needed rest? Do you see the difference?

Lesson

Do: Invent a dangerous and mysterious story as reason for your shortcomings

Don’t: be honest unless you are me and lead a fantastic life. Honesty is not the best policy

Secret weapon: story telling

Seduction Factor: mystery and adventure

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3 Responses to On Deception…

  1. KristaD. says:

    I think you’re a pig and a misogynist. Thank God my husband is not like most men!

  2. USD4Evuh says:

    Krista…shut your trap and tell your husband to read this!

  3. Jjon says:

    Pow!!!!!!
    Looks like someone is unhappy with their husband’s straw-cock.

    Great Blog.

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